A national Republican poll has suggested that Republicans have generally accepted the President’s fearless confrontation with Corona, clamored to get things open and are generally not afraid to congregate and be in crowds. This observation has nothing to do with the President’s belief that mail-in voting should be illegal – that it is easily faked and will cause a fake election. This conclusion has been confirmed by a thorough investigation by Attorney General Barr and any state that allows mail-in voting will be sanctioned and funds withheld.

The CDC has released guidance on how to re-open safely, with the exception of religious services.
This obvious omission was done at the urging of president Trump and in contradiction to the CDC. Trump has fired all the medically-trained scientist at the CDC and has replaced them with his trusted scientific medical advisers, recruited from the Republican National Party.

It was determined that the scientific community has been totally brainwashed by liberal medical colleges who are the sworn enemies of Trump and would do anything to take back the 2016 election. Attorney General Barr is investigating these alleged scientists and recommended a declaration of war against infidel-inspired colleges.

Trump has assigned the three medical amigos: Phil, Carson and Oz – to create a list of heretical theories that are the mainstay of college thinking and research how these theories were developed. Barr will investigate and bring the proper indictments. Alice has uncovered what has been appropriately titled “the list of fakes”

1. Earth not center of universe
2. earth not flat
3. 3 dinosaurs

These heretical theories, promoted by liberal colleges are where it all begins.

It has been reported that Hydroxychloroquine has side effects that may cause mood swings, and irritability. The president is very concerned that Democrats are letting out false information about this near-perfect cure for Corona and would rather see American babies, mommies and daddies suffer and die than see the president succeed as president. The president has volunteered his own body to prove that the drug is effective and does not cause mood swings or irritability. This experiment will be announced publicly when the president finds replacements for his public affairs officer, press secretary and spokesperson. These replacements will be promptly filled once the president finds a replacement for personnel manager to the White House, which will promptly be filled once the president finds a replacement for the personnel manager of the Personnel Dept.

President Trump has announced he has been taking Hydroxychloroquine for a week. Although it has significant side effects and has no proven effective as a cure for Corona. When President Trump heard it could be used as a prophylactic, he, having extensive knowledge of prophylactics since puberty, felt very comfortable recommending them and using them himself as he has done over the years. So far, he has not gotten Corona, nor has he made anyone pregnant. Proof to the president that this drug is absolutely PERFECT.

A United Kingdom study has came to the attention of the White House that determined that certain dogs can actually smell the Corona virus. President Trump was fully aware of this phenomenon. In fact, he personally discovered that many people on his staff had that talent. Unfortunately, they all caught the virus. This test was scuttled after several attempts by Dr. Carson to separate the smell from the toxic effects of the virus itself, through microscopic brain surgery – a talent unique to Dr. Carson.

Trump has fired his fourth inspector general in a row. He was inspecting suspicious activity of Secretary of State, Mike Pompeo, another Trump appointment. After a full and complete review of the problems he has been having retaining people in charge of seeking out corruption of his prior political appointments, Trump has called on the Chief Psychic of the Psychic Hotline and the two came up with the most brilliant plan for future difficulties with investigations of his friends and relatives. Titled “The Friends and Relatives Present and Future Presidential Pardons Act. This brilliant plan will save the taxpayers millions of dollars in wasted investigations and prosecutions and will also include himself.

President Trump announces OPERATION: WARP SPEED. This name was developed to inspire his team of top-flight advisors. Dr. Carson liked the idea of putting the word OPERATION for the coined phrase. The word WARP came sort of naturally to President Trump as does most of his thinking. That particular word was especially appealing. SPEED also flows well with WARP and fits the description of how fast this warp developed.

The presidential psychic medical team of Carson, Phil and Oz have been studying star patterns with world-famous astrologist Hugo DiMartino and its affect on people’s ability to fight the Corona virus. Through, their unyielding efforts they have discovered what signs are most affected by the devastating effects of this disease. There will be no need for burdensome, uncomfortable tests, vaccinations and isolation. Just by ascertaining the time and date of your birth, this group has drawn a chart that can determine the precise time and date you will be contaminated with the disease, when and if you will need a ventilator and whether it’s worthwhile spending any valuable resources on you. This method can not be accused of discrimination like the prior methods used, which were basically color charts.

President Trump is putting 10 different vaccines into production and will start distribution within the next 2 weeks. This break through was accomplished with the assistance of our president rolling up his sleeves and getting directly involved in mixing up the potions. Fortunately Dr. Oz has great connections with the Wicked Witch of the West and the 3 of them created the best damn vaccines ever known to mankind.

President Trump has unfurled the Space Force flag. This force was conceived, created and financed through the phenomenal, best-in-the-world-and-beyond efforts of our great president. The president was inspired by the many space cadets he has appointed as heads of departments, cabinet posts and judges. The 3 doctor amigos: Carson, Phil and Oz want to be among the first cadets to get out there to look into the age-old debate between astrological signs versus genetics in determining human traits.