President Trump has disclosed the true reason he was found in the cellar bunker at the White House, under the bed sucking his thumb and curling his hair. This had absolutely nothing to do with a possible insurrection outside the White House gates and the chant which could be overheard from the biggest crowd any president has drawn in the history of the country. They were there to celebrate the grand reopening of the country.
The president was preparing for his nightly seance and was merely getting in touch with his inner-child. He can connect much easier that way and he had to do his yearly inspection of the bunker anyway. So, he killed 2 birds with one stone – saving the taxpayers millions.