Falwell Fly Down

The right Reverend Jerry Falwell Jr of the religious Liberty University resigned as a result of this picture of Mr. Falwell at a party with a pregnant assistant, their flies down. Clearly a picture altered by the anti-christ Joe Biden in an attempt to undermine religious leaders who support the president. Joe Biden will do anything to destroy our country our religions and our morals to win the presidency. The president has directed Attorney General Barf to investigate the very real possibility that a lot of people are saying, that Joe Biden and the Chinese government were behind the spread of Corona to destroy the economy and make the president appear to be incompetent. The president is about to issue an executive order re-instating Mr. Falwell and ending the Corona Virus scourge.

Introducing the leader of the Illuminati

President Trump has received word at his nightly seances that Joe Biden is the anti-christ and is determined to destroy religion worldwide. He hates God and Jesus and is definitely anti-semitic and a full-blown Nazi bigot. There are rumors be was secretly behind Adolph Hitler’s rise and is leader the of the Illuminati. He’s got Hollywood actors and rock stars as part of his campaign through this leadership. President Trump has the god-given burden of defeating this scourge before the world is taken over by this devil anti-christ.

Pathetic Mind and Body

President Trump has determined that many of his top scientific experts are pathetic when it comes to dealing with a pandemic. The president knows a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing and these pathetic scientists have little-to-no knowledge of star alignment or proper Ouija board protocol. President Trump further described Dr. Birx, the only female board member, as pathetic in mind and body, especially body. He asked if anyone noticed her ass. Then joked, of course not, because she no ass! What ass she does have is pathetic. We need a scientist with more knowledge of star alignment. and if it’s a woman scientist, she has to have a good ass and Oiuja board knowledge.

Election Postponed

President Trump has issued an executive order postponing the election until his tax audit is completed. The president promises to release his returns just as soon as the audit is finished. He believes that the tax return is a basic necessity for the voters to make an educated decision on who should be president.

Dr. Stella and the Stars

Dr Stella Immanuel has been recruited to assist the presidents Corona crew on re-opening schools and proper Corona precautions. Dr Stella Immanuel has some serious contacts with alien forces that can assist the presidents Corona team. She and a group of these like minded doctors met with President Trump to discuss the exact proper star alignment for reopening. The best part of having Dr Immanuel on the team is her close contact and relationship with the aliens who have up-close and personal contact with the stars and have the ability to manipulate the stars , if needed, to get the proper alignment for re-openings.

Even the Playing Field

The president’s crack Corona team, the 3 Medical Amigos (Drs. Oz, Phil and Carson) have determined that the Center for Disease Control is a deep-state subversive organization who’s sole purpose is to overthrow Trump and cover everybody’s face. They are recommending it immediately be shut down. Attorney General Barf will be investigating the suspicions of the 3 medical amigos and a lot of people that at the center of this are some very ugly people… who have a vested interest in covering all faces at all times, just to even the playing field.

Suspicious Erasure Marks

The president has instructed the honorable Attorney General Barf to launch an investigation into Dr. Fauci and his relationship to the Corona team of the 3 medical amigos – Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil and Dr. Carson.  It has come to the attention of the president that Dr. Fauci has repeatedly contradicted the many very clear astrological signs for re-opening the schools that the medical amigos have been relying on. This is a proven method to obtain the tremendous success we have had so far. The numbers are higher than before the shutdown in many states that Dr. Fauci said were opened too early, but he is relying on the deep state CDC Trump-appointed scientist. Dr. Fauci’s statement is treasonous. The numbers he speaks of are based on testing from the CDC which is known to be deep-state inspired. Attorney General Barf has discovered suspicious erasure marks on Dr. Fauci’s birth certificate. Dr. Fauci claims to be Italian, but looks very Jewish and is believed to be a Jewish-Mexican illegal immigrant.

Substantial Personal Gas

The president and his Corona team, in consultation with the Goya Bean Company have come up with a brilliant plan to promote social distancing and eliminate the need for face masks at the same time.

Goya Bean Company will produce a specialty bean known to produce substantial personal gas, increase bean production and distribution and offer cooked beans at every street corner location where there is a breakout.

This will produce a tremendous amount of personal gas among the general population. thereby promoting widespread farting. These specially formulated beans produce some really bad-ass farts and, coupled with no face mask, will result in automatically making everyone want to stay AT LEAST six feet from the closest person.

Excessive Mask-Wearing

President Trump has ordered hospitals to report directly to the White House and skip data sharing with the CDC, which is shared with the public. It has been clear that the numbers going directly to CDC do not give the White House the opportunity to filter out the scientific fake data being attributed to the Corona virus. The scientific data directly contradicts the experts at the White House. Many of the deaths, need for ventilators, and positive statistics being falsely attributed to Corona have been traced to excessive mask-wearing. Recycling breath as a result of impaired free flow of breathing has been traced by the three medical amigos, Drs. Carson, Phil, and Oz, as the cause of these skewed statistics
and they will personally evaluate the data to properly attribute the causes.

Corona Prediction Wheel

President Trump’s Corona medical team, the three medical amigos, Dr. Carson, Phil and Oz, have determined that some of the predictions of the bone-throwers were off by a few thousand deaths.  It was clear that additional expertise was needed before opening the schools to get a real handle on this Corona disease.  The president does not want to get the school re-openings wrong – there is just too much at stake! After a substantial search of the most prestigious game show hosts and wheel spinners this country has ever produced, and with persuasion from Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil, they were able to talk Chuck Woolery into preparing a Corona  Prediction Wheel for school re-openings.  This method, coupled with seances and star alignment, will guarantee the safe and timely re-opening of our schools.