The Corona Files

An investigation into the lag-time between notice of Corona and action on Corona has been traced to a troll riddle that had everybody stumped in the Administration. The trolls came up with with a top-secret riddle that was required before any Trump officials could get into the top-secret Corona files. The riddle stumped the top brains of the administration –

“Why are abortion clinics considered essential and churches aren’t.”

Completing this riddle would allow Trump’s officials into the Corona files. Unfortunately, the fact that large group gatherings may be the reason escaped the top brains in the administration and, as a result, no one has been able to get into the Corona files. The shortage of ventilators, face masks and protective clothing can be traced directly to this complicated riddle. Corrective measures have now been put in place after consultation with Putin’s secret service. In the future, the Corona files and other how-to files will be accessed through keys hung around trusted family members’ necks.

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