Rumor has it that, although President Trump wants Judge Ginsberg to go on forever, he is vetting Judge Jeanine Pirro of Fox fame to replace Judge Ginsberg – just in case the voodoo doll that Dr. Oz gave him works.

A lot of people are wondering why the FAKE news never mentions the fact that President Trump has extensive knowledge of the gambling industry, having run and managed several failed casinos. He knows how to place a bet. He is familiar with the odds and has carefully weighed the odds of opening up against the odds of several thousand people dying as a result.

The public can feel rest assured that the dollar return far outweighs whatever pain, suffering and dying that may result from a premature opening. Odds around 50-50 and mostly poor Democrats will be affected anyway.

President Trump says that Michigan protesters set an excellent example of the proper weapons to carry during a protest – especially in the Capitals of government buildings. The president is consulting with the NRA regarding legislation requiring all political representatives carry AK-47s during legislative debates.

Dr. Oz, in conjunction with the Healing Through Telepathy Foundation, and Dr. Phil has formulated a combination E.D. cure and hair-growth formula that Trump and Kim were taking. Unfortunately there was a slight mix-up and Don’s telepathic transmission was confused with Kim Jong-Un – causing Trump’s formerly out-of-control hair to be suddenly well-groomed and tight on the sides… and Kim Jon-Un is suddenly grabbing at women’s privates.

The President’s staff has come up with a brilliant plan – killing 2 birds with one stone – and saving the taxpayers millions. There will be a tryout for Personal Assistant to the President and Contestant for the Miss America Pageant at the same time! The contestants must be prepared to answer many in-depth political questions and look good in a bathing suit. Runners-up will be considered for backup newscasters on Fox News.

Fox News has uncovered the fact that Dr. Fauci was not born in this country and is basically an illegal immigrant. He says he’s Italian, but his birth certificate looks like it’s been altered and he looks Jewish. It is suspected that he somehow got through the super-duper wall separating us from Mexico during the last mass attack from the Mexican drug dealers trying to get on our welfare system. No one has actually seen the original birth certificate… only copies. Attorney General Barr is looking into this matter and may expedite an immediate expulsion back to Israel… where it is suspected he came from.

The reports that Trump’s under-performing golf courses are being converted into high priced grave yards are being denied by the White House.

Dr Phil is said to be working overtime at the White House lately. Melania has isolated herself completely from Donald and claims it’s his risky behavior with this Corona going around and Don not wearing a mask. The issue that Dr Phil is addressing seems to be that she had that same complaint long before anyone heard of Corona.

There is a rumor circulating the White House that Dr Carson is secretly experimenting with Trump’s brain. He has been seen wearing surgical gowns at the White House late at night. Apparently he is trying to rejoin Trump’s secret twin separated at birth.

The medical dream team of Oz, Carson, Phil and Trump have successfully transplanted the brain of a chimpanzee into the head of a jackass in the hopes of creating a fifth member of their team.